Imagine walking into an amazing surprise birthday celebration. Beautiful balloons adorn every table. Brightly colored streamers hang from the ceilings. A server walks over and offers you several choices of entrée that all sound like they are taken right off the menu of the hottest restaurant in Tremont. On a table in front
of you sits four tiers of the most decadent and elegantly frosted cake you have ever seen.
Then someone from the hall walks over and informs you that you cannot eat anything. They miscounted and there isn’t enough and you are the one who doesn’t get to eat, not even a salad.
This would be upsetting to most of us, right? Now what if it was your child who wasn’t going to be joining in the feast? I think most of us would go “Mama/Papa bear” on anyone who felt like it was okay to leave our kids out of the party.
Not being able to join in is an everyday experience for my amazing, smart, happy, fun loving and handsome boy. He manages – well, Mama does – life-threatening food allergies, as well as Celiac disease. Dairy, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, rye and barley are just a few of the limitations we work with. Joining in
school parties, birthday celebrations, holidays, and play dates can prove trying. This is our life though and so far, we have managed pretty darn well! Sure, we have to take extra steps and precautions, but we have learned a lot in the past four years and are learning more every day!
Parenting is hard work with any child. Add in the extra challenge of food allergies and you can imagine that a POFAK (parent of food allergic kids) could use a little help from our kid’s teachers and classmates, the classmates’ parents, and the medical community. What can they do? Here are a few key things that mean the
world to us POFAKs!
1. Understanding. A little understanding goes a long way. Believe me, we are not trying to ruin the class parties or lunches. We are trying to keep our kids alive and make them feel included in regular childhood events. They want to be involved in parties, games, and play dates just like every other kid. There are a few hurdles to overcome to make that happen, but the hurdles are not impossible. Instead of a treat, asking for a little extra recess time or sending in a small craft are a few alternatives to the sugar and calorie-laden sweets
that may leave some kids out of the party.
2. Ask! There are more and more mainstream products that some parents are willing to let a kid with food allergies have! Enjoy Life ($4 for a box of Chocolate Chip cookies) is a favorite brand in this house because they are available locally and everything they make is from a facility that is free of the Top 8 allergens! What is the Top 8? The Top 8 refers to the allergens at the top of the list for food allergy reactions, accounting for 90% of the allergies here in the US. They are dairy, eggs, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, shellfish, and fish. There are other brands out there too that you may be able to pick up for your child’s playmate who is coming over next time! Andean Dream ($6.00 for Chocolate Chip Cookies), Lucy’s ($5 again for Chocolate Chip Cookies) and Surf Sweets ($2 for a bag of gummy candies) are a few other brands that may work for kids depending on the allergy set they have to work with. Not all of these are available locally, but can be ordered online.
3. Don’t be offended! When a child is diagnosed with one or more food allergies, the parents have to develop their own comfort zone for food products and preparation. One mom may be fine with you baking something for the class party while another may not be. As I said, I have been at this for four plus years now and it’s only been in the past two months that I have let my child eat something that was not prepared by me. After years of instruction, education, and label-checking, I finally let my mother cook for my kids. Some people may see this as controlling and overboard, but to that I ask this: Have you ever seen your child unable to breathe, leaving you uncertain if they would make it to tomorrow? It isn’t something we take lightly.
The bottom line is this: Allergies are becoming more prevalent with 8% of children allergic to at least one allergen and many allergic to more than one. Any food can cause a life threatening reaction, not just peanut or tree nuts. Celiac disease affects one in 133 people and can be undiagnosed/misdiagnosis for typically 6-10 years. We all want our kids to have happy, healthy, and safe childhoods. These steps can help us all work together so all our kids can have their cake and eat it, too.
